The Compassionate Art of Setting Boundaries
Hey there, friends. Let’s talk about something we all go through- the ups and downs of relationships. They can be tough, right? But here’s the thing: they should never mess with your well-being. Have you ever been in a situation where your heart knows something is off? Whether it be with a close friend or a past or current relationship.
You love them, but it feels like they keep hurting you, or their actions just don’t match their words. It’s tough, I get it. You migh thave tried everything you can think of- prayers, waiting, changing yourself in hopes that they would notice and change too. But sometimes, nothing seems to work. It hurts, and realizing you can’t force someone to change or love you the way that you love them? That’s a painful truth.
Now, I’ve learned something important, and I want to share it with you. You can’t fix something or someone that doesn’t want to be fixed. It STINGS, I know, but embracing this truth is the first step. You might be feeling heartbroken, sad, or angry, doing your best to “fix it”. But here’s a gentle reminder: you can only control your own changes.
Let’s talk about how boundaries come into play here. Boundaries are like the superhero capes of relationships. They won’t magically fix the other person, but they help you focus on what’s good, acceptable, and necessary for your own well-being. It’s about making changes for yourself, not trying to change them.
Setting boundaries, especially in a kind and compassionate way, takes time. Take a moment to sit, pray, and think about how these boundariescould make your life and relationship better. Remember, a boundary isn’t about controlling someone else. It’s your way of staying in control and safe.
Shift your focus to what you can control- your environment, what you are willing to allow, and what you can give. Your boundary is like setting the stage for your emotions to stay more balanced. A here’s the crucial part-GRACE!! Be clear but say it kindly. We’re aiming for a positive outcome, not a negative one.
Also, boundaries are not about cutting people off (even though sometimes it may feel like you want to). They are your way of standing up for your relationship. Instead of letting frustrations build up, a healthy boundary can actually save your relationship. It’s about saying what you’re okay with, what you’re not ok with, and what you both expect.
Stick to your guns, though. If you set a boundary, stick to it. Let them know the consequences if they don’t respect it. It’s about taking responsibility for your own sanity, safety, and serenity. Getting to a better place might not feel good right away, but it is worth it in the end.
And remember friends, don’t work harder on them than they are willing to work on themselves. Real, lasting change starts from inside their own heart, not from outside pressure. You’ve got this, and your well-being deserves the compassion you’re giving it.
Let your conversation be always full of grace,
seasoned with salt, so that you may know how
to answer everyone.
COLOSSIANS4:6
